I Need to Vent and I'm Using This Blog as My Outlet
I make this experience out to be exciting...which it is, but it's soooooooooooo unbelievably frustrating at times. The staff at my center are insanely busy, mostly paper pushing crap and meetings that occur away from our center. I haven't seen my supervisor in almost a month. Granted, I've been putting in only 2-3 day weeks because of other things going on with Peace Corps, but I come in at normal business hours so you would think she would be there for a little bit, but nope.
Other volunteers have voiced their frustrations about the same things while I said that it was kind of nice not having to worry about work so much, but seriously, who am I kidding? I need to do something! I want to feel like I'm making a difference, even if it's a small difference. I have come up with a computer training for the staff and it was going really well, but then one of our babies was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia so the staff I was working with has to be there all the time.
Don't get me started on the conditions in the nursery right now. I was almost to tears yesterday when talking about it with my Regional Manager. She said she would come tomorrow and ask questions. Will this get my supervisor's and social workers' attention? I sure hope so because my center is setting itself up for disaster. RSCC is supposed to be a safe, healthy environment for its clients, but the past four days, the babies have gone without formula. Instead, they get rice water mixed with sugar. I might explode if this continues to happen. There are so many things that need to change and I'm at a loss as to what to do...most of the time, I can't do anything and I think that makes it even worse.
Well, that's how things stand right now. While I'm having a blast traveling, hanging out with other volunteers and spending time with my host family, work is breaking my heart. I love the kids, I love many of the staff I work with, but I feel helpless, which is now turning to hopeless. I think it's just one of those weeks so don't worry, I'm still down with this Peace Corps thing, but it's tough...hence the saying, "The toughest job you'll ever love." Maybe I need a vacation around the end of July (hint, hint), because no matter how much I make it seem like this past year was one big vacation, it never has been. Ok, maybe when Grandma and Francey were here. That was a bit vacation like! Ha! Keep smiling everyone. Even though it seems like I'm not, I really am!