Jody's Peace Corps Experience

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Still Nothing

No new news yet. I have been trying to put into words how I'm feeling right now and I found the perfect description on another PCV's blog.

From Meggan who is in Moldova...
When I think about the Peace Corps

I feel
  • Anxious
  • Excited
  • Stressed
  • Frightened
  • Optimistic
  • Adventurous

Sometimes I think “what the hell am I doing?” I feel overwhelmed, scared.

Occasionally self doubt sneaks in… “Can I do this?”

I hope I can do this…

By and large I am excited. I think that this is going to be one of the most rewarding things I will ever do in life. I hope to learn about the world, about myself.

I’m a fish, eager to hop out of the bowl and into the ocean. (I hope I am a salt water fish)

I am an explorer.

I am altruistic.

I am terrified…

I will cry.

I will smile

I will accomplish…

I will have no regrets.

This basically sums up all of my aspirations/fears and what seems to be constantly on my mind. I won't lie and say that all of my thoughts are fluffy...sometimes I get very nervous about being a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Philippines. Like what it says above, I find me asking myself every now and then, "What the HELL are you doing, woman?" But then I do get some of those fluffy cloud thoughts about changing the world (yeah right, if it was that easy, why would PC be around?) or at least making a difference for one child/family/community.